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Friday, August 16, 2013

The 7 wives tribute

I am part of a group of 7 fabulous women whom celebrate our birthdays together.  I asked them to give a tribute to Eddie at the first shiva.  Following were the remarks given by Lara Kaplan who spoke on behalf of all of them.

I have had the privilege of being intertwined in the Michaels lives through Temple, pre-school, elementary school, living across the country club from each other, sharing countless Shabbat and holiday dinners together, play dates both with and without kids, and having them live with us for three weeks when their plumbing exploded in their home.  Eddie always called me his second wife and with that role came the duty of helping him plan surprise parties, picking out presents, or things he thought Lorin would enjoy.  

We have had a birthday group of 8 women for years, all of whom Eddie adored.  If he were here today, he would probably call each of them the same.  Dana would be his 3rd wife, Hayley, the 4th, Jayney, the 5th, Lisa, the 6th, Carly, the 7th, and Nicole, the 8th wife, who would make exquisite pieces of jewelry that unfortunately he would only pick out for wife #1, Lorin.   
Lorin, you truly are one of the best.  They don’t make ‘em like you anymore.  You will get through this because when it all settles down, you will still have all of us every step of the way.  You will get through this because your husband, our dear Eddie wanted it that way.  All of us wives promise to stand by you through it all and watch over you and your beautiful Dylan and Matthew.  

Somebody in the service yesterday said that Eddie was so wise, so loving, and yet so simple, as in angles or agenda, just integrity.  That is true with everything in his life.  He was also a great teacher, even from a young age when he tutored both Jason and Greg for their Havtorah.  What a small Eddie world it is!

Among all of us women, Hayley got the honor of working with Eddie and said that weather for a day or a year he would make you feel so comfortable.  It was a wonderful partnership.  He would make you feel equal and no matter what you did, he made you feel like you made a difference.  And in Hollywood, a place that that at times is difficult to find the good, he carved his own way and was always a real Mench.

Eddie had an unconditional ease.  No matter what you were celebrating and no matter what you were sad about, he always had solid advice.  He was a comfort and a confidante for all of our tough things in life:  family health issues, divorce, parenting, you name it.  He was an easy man for a woman to talk to and get a man’s perspective.  He was kind and attentive in a different way than most friends’ husbands.  His sweetness was sincere and a genuine part of who he was.  The love and inner wisdom that he had was part of what made him such a good guy.  He was great with all of our children.  He was always playful and kind.  He is a sweet, sweet soul.  

I had the true honor of sitting with Eddie in his final days, as he would dictate letters to his children for the big events to come: Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, graduations, career, weddings, the works.  His words, although very quiet, were loving and kind, thoughtful and meaningful, genuine and true . . . just the way Eddie did everything.  I called Lorin, worried that maybe they weren’t long enough or maybe he left something out.  This was a big responsibility, especially since he was very specific not to even show these to Lorin because he didn’t want her changing a word.  But, Lorin knowing Eddie the way she did, said no, that’s just Eddie.  He did not waste words.  He spoke the truth and with precise intent.

There will be a permanent, irreplaceable void at our future gatherings and celebrations.  His warmth, his beautiful smile and his genuine calm nature will be will be sorely missed by us all and will live in our hearts forever.

Traditionally at a Shiva, the visitors do not speak or initiate conversation with the mourners unless the mourners approach them first.  The reason for this is that our forefathers realized that any words would be trivial.  No words can truly console.  It’s more important that we are all present.   And that’s what all of you are doing today.  All passings of a loved one are difficult, but at such a young age, this heartache is simply beyond comprehension.  As you asked Lorin, we are here for you today, and for Dylan and Matthew, and promise to always be here to honor Eddie’s memory.

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