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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Brad Ross' Eulogy

Thursday night I didn’t sleep…I was pissed!  This really sucks and we all know it.  I was so bitterly angry…angry at losing my dear friend…angry at all the times I will miss that I was supposed to have with him in the coming years…angry that he left us so young, with so much to live for and so many of us still here missing him.  And as I lay awake I thought…you know, we are all angry…and let’s face it you know we all are…and it’s ok.  It’s ok to be angry but at the same time to think about Eddie and to think about what he would say and how he would deal with it.  I’ll tell you how he would…He would tilt his head to the side a little, squint slightly, and with that amused and comforting smile he would nod his head back and forth a little while he told us that it is ok to be angry…but that we should spin that anger into something positive.  And he would tell us that we should spin that anger into an appreciation of the regular everyday stuff that we tend to take for granted.  You know, don’t sweat the small stuff…cherish every moment.  These things are easy to say but most of us rarely practice diligently. 



When we first got the bad news that his situation was dire many months ago we sat at the beach and had a long talk over a couple cocktails.  In those laughing, crying, heartfelt hours he told me that he would like me to speak for him if and when the time came.  When I asked him what he wanted to say he didn’t give me too much detail, but he went on to discuss his answer to the question of what he wanted to do with what may be the limited time he had left.  He told me that what he was going to miss was the regular everyday things…daily routine, dinner at home with the family, talking to the kids and putting them to bed.  And that is what he wanted to do with whatever time he had.  No bucket list. Not go to Kilimanjaro, not ride the rapids or see the pyramids…the he wanted to focus on the most ordinary  but the most important things.  Because as he so rightly points out, we all know this…but do we actually focus on it or do we take it for granted?  His second message was as clear as the first, but this he told me directly.  He wanted me to let his children and Lorin know that no matter what he would always be with them.  In every special day and event in your life and in every regular day.  Because your dad was totally the family man...




That afternoon  our conversation at the beach was not all tears.  Well plenty of mine but not his.  By the way…I promised him I wouldn’t cry anymore after that day….  But Eddie the eternal optimist, of course was looking at the bright side.  Optimistic that something would work and that some treatment would bring him back to health.  That was Eddie…always the bright side…It didn’t phase him that it could be June 22nd and we are 9 games out of first…he was the guy who would be sure that we would win 36 out of the next 44 games and be 6 1/2 games up by August 11th.  Eddie the total sports freak…Dodgers and Lakers (though we were part of the handfull who could appreciate Angels and Clippers at the same time). Ssports was one of the many bonds between us.  And he shared that love of sports with the kids…Dylan and Matthew you should have heard him talk about how proud he was of your sports exploits.  And what a great day it was for Eddie Matthew and me  when we got to meet Vin Scully and have a ten minute chat with that icon just a few weeks ago.

So many fond memories…the day I met Eddie 23 years ago in the back of the limo with Lou, the parties at Eddie’s where my darling 4 year old daughter became the hostess and greeter, years of our fantasy football with all the guys, dinners at the monkey bar, events with dear friends like Lou and Noah, getting to know and love Lorin, the mitzvah of his introduction of me to my wife Linda, having the opportunity to fall in love with Dylan and Matthew and watch them  as they have grown into fine young people, the ball games, concerts, dinners, swim afternoons at our pool…I could go on…and I guess I have.


Eddie was a brother to me…a consistent voice, a steady hand, an eager companion

Eddie was a brother to me…a confidant, a kind light in my dark moments, a worthy opinion at any time

Eddie was a brother to me…the perfect pal, always available, always sincere

Eddie was a brother to me…highest integrity, honest but kind, thoughtful and diplomatic

Eddie was a brother to me…I will carry him with me always

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