Follow by Email

Wednesday, December 4, 2013


I don't proclaim to know what people should say to others going through grief.  I have read so many books lately, started attending a grief group and spoken with those who have travelled this road before me and after me.  They all agree that people can just say the darndest things sometimes and then there are those afraid of saying such things that say nothing.

I went to my grief group tonight.  We all laughed at the "you are so strong" and "you look so good" comments.. not to insult those that say those things.  We realize it is the best one knows to say in the moment.  But we really don't feel strong - we just see no other choice, particularly those of us with children depending on us.  We would love to be less strong how should we do that?  We certainly don't feel we look good because we mostly likely haven't been sleeping well or much, eating well or exercising much, most likely.  If we look good because some stress is off of us well, we would just as soon have that stress back and look like hell if it meant our loved one would be back here with us to "stress" over.

The best I have seen in this area however came in the reading we did at the end of our grief group tonight....

A Letter for Non-Grievers
To my dear (family, friends, employer, etc),
I have experienced a loss that is devastating to me.  It will take time, perhaps years, for me to work through the grief I am having because of this loss.

I will cry more than usual for some time. My tears are not a sign of weakness or a lack of hope or faith. They are the symbols of the depth of my loss and a sign that I am recovering.

I may become angry without there seeming to be a reason for it.  My emotions are all heightened by the stress of grief.  Please be forgiving if I seem irrational at times.

I need your understanding and your presence more than anything else.  If you don't know what to say, just touch me or give me a hug to let me know you care.  Please don't wait for me to call you.  I am often too tired to even think of reaching out for the help I need.

Don't allow me to withdraw from you.  I need you more than ever during the next year.

Pray for me only if your prayer is not an order for me to make you feel better.  My faith is not an excuse for the process of grief.

This loss is the worst thing that could happen to me.  But, I will get through it and I will live again.  I will not always feel as I do now.  I will laugh again.

Thank you for caring about me.  Your concern is a gift I will always treasure.


I dont think I could possibly say it better than this letter...

Hugs to all,

Sunday, November 17, 2013


Sunday night.  Dark room.  Massage table.  Fantastic masseuse just waiting for me to get settled.  These used to be the appealing signs of many Sunday nights for Eddie and me.  Once as he lay upstairs and I was downstairs having my massage, I cried into the massage table pillow.  The pain of all that was going on was overwhelming to me as I lay alone on the massage table with only the silence to comfort me.

Months later, that same silence falls upon me tonight but I have wrapped my head around thinking about the week, the weekend, the nice ease to the weekend for a change, the beautiful day I had with the kids just hanging out with Eddie's godson, Jake, and his father Doug, one of Eddie's closest friends.  The "relaxation" channel on Pandora played a series of calm songs and then it played Pachabel's Canon, the song that I walked down the aisle to as if it were yesterday.  I remember watching Eddie's smiling face the whole time I walked that beautiful aisle.  The song struck me as it always does but this was after all a relaxation channel and that was the ultimate in relaxing songs.  I listened and tried to summon the tears but I was just calm in it, remembering the glorious day 10 years ago.

After the song the channel went quickly south to the song from Titanic and when it played one of the songs from "Aladdin", I decided it was time to change as I turned over.  I switched to "Ambient" music which essentially amounted to listening to air but I actually welcomed it.  I wanted to feel the quiet and help my body ease into the ultimate relaxation and I wanted to try to feel Eddie in some way.  I said a little prayer to myself wishing I could somehow know Eddie was there... "if only he could somehow blow some warm air on me."  Then like magic, the next song, on a channel that literally was playing air, played a very beautiful Pachabel's Canon, the only composition I heard on that station for the 30 minutes I listened to that station.  I was awe struck.  It hit me how really there he was and I cried the warmest tears and talked to him in my head ... in the cold dark silence.

Goodnight Eddie.  I miss you.

Thursday, November 14, 2013


Last Friday, November 8th, came and went.  There was no shiva to go to, no special Shabbat, no plan even made with my children for which I felt terrible about.  I went out with friends.  When I made the plan, I was still under the influence of the novocain.  Not the typical novocain that is injected into your gums before some awful dental procedure but more the novocain fog you are in for those first few months.  I suppose that novocain fog is a blessing... it keeps me getting up in the morning and functioning and moving through life without Eddie.  But then, like the real life one, it wears off and I am left standing in the fog but with more feeling and more realization that this is really it.  I am really alone, he is really gone and my children really don't have their dad come Halloween, a trip to Disneyland (which he always attended), a basketball game, a tournament... the endless everyday dinners.  The novocain fog isn't coming back either.  It is the real new world order, the real every day new path and the real facing it each and every day and every event and holiday.

Today as I walked with Dylan back to the car after her grief group I told her how once a month the parents have a "parent group" during the kids group to talk about how our kids are doing.  I commented that some of the stories are so sad - the family that now must move to Seattle because the mom cant find work here in LA, the family who cant stay in their home without the income of the father, the mom who doesnt know how to do so many things that the husband always did... I told her how we are so lucky that we get to stay in our home, in LA with our friends, and how lucky we are to have the family that loves us so much.  I asked her if she could imagine us having to move away and she quickly said "no, because I could never do it without my friends."

She gets it.. as do Matthew and I.....even after the novocain has worn off for all of us.

Hugs to all

Wednesday, October 2, 2013


Tomorrow will be two months... It truly seems like yesterday.  I can replay Eddie's final 24 hours in my mind like it is a film reel on a never ending repeat rotation.  The kids are back in the swing of school with homework, sports and even the good ole playground drama.  Matthew even used the "but my daddy died" card already.  So many things to learn....

Very kindly, people ask how the kids and I are doing quite often. On the day to day basis, we are "fine" which I tell them.  It is true - I am not the type to lie in bed and not be able to function.  Plus, I have two children lwaking me every morning exclaiming that it is absolutely time to get up, time to get their breakfast made and bouncing with energy.  They are not the type to lie in bed wallowing in their sorrow either.  They know they have friends waiting for them and schoolwork to get done or a game to be played.  They know inherently life must go on.

There are those times that the feelings of sorrow come rushing in.  The Jewish holidays, always a favorite of Eddie's was hard, pure and simple.  There were lots of tears shed.  This past weekend was the rededication of our new sanctuary, a place I so feel Eddie wanting to be even in death.  It is hard to be there without him.  I am "fine" but I am sad too.  I feel the sadness profoundly at certain times.

So, I am never quite sure how to answer people.  I feel guilty saying "fine."  I almost feel an expectation, maybe just from myself, to be wallowing in sadness, to reply "not ok".  There is a part of me that honestly is not sure how I feel and hesitate to respond at all to the question as I know today I might be "fine" but tomorrow the wave might hit and I wont be fine at all.  I certainly don't have experience in this arena to know what to expect from time.  Do I therefore lose credibility in my wave of sadness at that time if I say I am fine one - two months out?  I mourned for 7 1/2 years off and on and certainly in the last 8 months I slowly felt Eddie's leaving me in many profound ways.  As Rabbi Leder so eloquently replied to me when I wrote him of that feeling of Eddie's slipping away from me:

"Dying weans us, it prepares us, it enables us to grow strong enough and independent enough to go on after the person we have relied on is physically gone.  It prepares our heart for release because we come to realize that dying is not the worst thing that can happen to a person who is so ill, but the best thing, the most peaceful thing, the most blessed thing, the most natural thing...that if we truly love someone then we want him to be at peace even more than we want him to by physically part of our lives.  That is real love.  This is all preparation and all a part of a very long journey that can only be taken one step at a time."  

I think about this often.  I feel Eddie did take the time to prepare me and let me adjust in the most kind way he could.  He knew we would be ok - he told me that in front of Rabbi Leder in February.  I feel extreme sadness when I think of Eddie and realize he is not here and wont be here for the most precious of moments for the kids, moments he would have treasured as their father.  So I guess that what I have been saying is the truth that I should feel good about - that we ARE "fine" which is certainly not "great" but that we have moments where we think of him and miss him terribly.  But, we can also have moments of fun and laughter and carrying on.  I suppose that is just who we are..... and Eddie would be really fine with that.

Hugs to all

Saturday, September 21, 2013

A Song Plays

Friday night we went to a friend's house to celebrate Sukkot.  It is a friend whose house we often went to to celebrate holidays.  Full of life and kids running around and celebration always.  Once again, the kids were running around, doing a dance show etc. How Eddie loved those nights. Then I briefly went to another room and I talked out loud to him for a minute, telling him how much I wished he was there with us that night. I came out and sat back on the couch with my friends when all of a sudden I noticed the song being played on the radio was a song that was one of the very first songs we connected to as a couple! It was Stevie Wonder's song, "I Believe." being sung by Josh Groban.  This is not a song often played. We found it together in yoga and it was going to be our first dance song at our wedding until we decided to mix it up and go country. No doubt he had a hand in sending me that song at that moment.  It just was such an unusual song being played on a station that was all contemporary current music.  He just wanted me to know that he was there.  No doubt.


Tuesday, September 10, 2013


Edith had another amazing butterfly moment 2 weeks ago when we were in Hawaii.  As she left our house, she said she said goodbye to Eddie as she always does.  Right then, the black and white butterfly flew out of the vase near our front door, flew around and then flew into the poster size picture I have still of the 4 of us in our entry way, landing on Eddie's face.  She kept talking to it and it flew around in the entry hall as if so happy to hear from her and then went into the other room at which point she didnt see it again.  One might not believe this story but then one might not believe mine either and I am telling you, it happened.

So being a little upset that "Eddie the butterfly" keeps showing up for Edith and not me, I decided to talk outside since that is where "he" had "shown up" for me before (see prior post).  I saw a moth in our fountain flower bed and I thought, "well, maybe now he is this moth."  I started talking to him and then thought "this is not right.  Eddie would not show up as a moth.  He is beauty and would be a beautiful butterfly as he was before."  I turned around to face the garden and our hydrangea bush which I have always loved and low and behold, down from the sky flutters the same enormous black with ivory stripes (not white as I thought before) but the exact same (rarely seen if ever) butterfly..and it landed directly across from me on the hydrangea bush.  I was really stuck and talked and talked to it for about 3 minutes.  I said outloud, "maybe I should go get dylan" and it flew off the bush and around and around in the garden.  I ran in to the front of the house, yelled for dylan to come outside and the butterfly was back on the hydrangea bush in the exact same spot as before.  It stayed there until we went inside a minute or two later.

I love this butterfly.  I will never know if it is actually Eddie or someone else sending me comfort though the butterfly but I can definitely tell you I love the thoughts.  They in themself bring comfort.  Although Dylan was a bit spooked at my suggestion and quickly returned to the house.

hugs to all of you

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Week of firsts

This was a hard week. The first day of school.  The first Rosh Hashana.  The end of the first month.  The first Saturday night alone. The first time in our temple's new beautiful sanctuary for a service.  It wasn't easy and I suppose I hadn't given it enough thought to prepare myself for the consolation backup, particularly at services.

The beauty in the week was Friday night when about 40-50 of ours friends (including kids) met us for dinner prior to soul sounds for the final reading of Eddie's name as part of the 30 day mourning period.  They lifted us all up and carried us through emotionally, especially Dylan who had been expressing real anxiety about attending after she was unable to keep it together for the children revive the day before.  I'm forever grateful to all of them.  It was a beautiful service, one Eddie would have simply loved. The breeze blew, the birds chirped and we all sang.  I loved looking up at the sky and just picturing his smile.

The kids did great at school which is the good news.  They love their teachers and their class and seeing their friends.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

From Hawaii and the Snake

The kids and I arrived in Hawaii today.  They could not leave me fast enough to get to the water slides, the pool and the lazy river.  I went looking for the shady chair.... Just one.  For me.    It's these little things that I don't foresee hitting me that really get me.  I never imagined what it could feel like walking around a pool surrounded by couples with and without kids sitting nearby, looking for one lone chair....and then sitting there realizing he is not upstairs resting or home doing work for some event or around the corner on some work phone call.  He must isn't.

Tonight marked the premier of one of the projects most dear to eddie's heart - Snake and Mongoose.  Eddie believed in this project from the very beginning and was more involved than mere promotion.  He adored the producer and then sought Noah Wyle to join the cast.  Tonight, for the first time in 20 years, Noah walked a press line without having Eddie at least a phone call away (and guaranteed if Eddie wasn't ever with him, they definitely spoke before and after that walk by Noah).  My heart breaks for Noah tonight and for our good friend Robin who so saw Eddie as a significant part of this movie.  I only hope that in some way, Eddie was theref watching them all and will lure all of you and others to see the movie for him.  It really was a special one to him.  It's the one thing I wish he had been able to do.

Mahalo to you all.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Another butterfly

I put a call in to KC Miller a few days ago.  She is the Community Development person at Cedars.  Eddie and I were so focused from the start of all of this to raise money as much as we could for The Neurological Institute there.  We felt so fortunate that we had the resources there.  Eddie and I always met with her together.
KC called me back and I stepped out front to talk to her.  Our front garden has been a comfort to me these days with its greenery and quiet.  Just as I sat down to talk to her, one of the largest butterflies I have ever ever seen flew down and rested on the ficus tree leaf directly opposite me.  It was black and white, just like the one Edith had told me she had seen a few days earlier.  It stayed there a long time.  I had to get up and walk Matthew outside the gate to go with a friend a few minutes later and when I came back it was gone.  Eddie always wanted to help the Institute and did with their gala.  I feel sure he wanted to be a part of that conversation I had in his own small way.


The days go by and we all go about the days we did before... camp, shopping for school supplies, talks with friends.  The only exception is my not going to work but that isnt so so missed at the moment.  Planning a trip, organizing it.  Then the night comes.  It is so quiet.  It's the time Eddie and I would come upstairs, get in bed, figure out what we wanted to watch together, laugh, discuss the craziness of the show if relevant and hold hands some.  Kiss each other goodnight and he would doze off... snoring of course.. loudly.  How I miss those cheeks to kiss, that hand to hold and the sweet Love You at the end of my day.  Just a few little gestures that meant so so much.  Night is hard.

Kiss your spouse/significant other tonight.. hug him/her a bit longer and tighter and think of Eddie.  He loved his good night kisses and so did I.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Final Shiva and poem I read

When I first contemplated sitting shiva, I had several people give me valuable input.  I heard the "The Jewish Laws work, you will see" and I heard "you will be exhausted and its too much for the kids."  Well, I am so happy that I knew Eddie would want and expect me to do the 7 days and so I chose to do that although days 4 and 5 were kept very small to accommodate the potential exhaustion theory (which was also a valid point).  At the end of Thursday's I began getting anxious about the end of shiva and wondered how I might extend.  Friday was hard at temple as that was a special place for all of us and there was a bit of a domino effect with one of us starting to cry that then led to many others around us becoming emotional, including a very kind woman who sits on a committee with me at temple who had not heard about Eddie yet.  The poor Rabbi and Cantor as we were in the first two rows!

When I woke up today, Saturday, I was happy I had people coming tonight.  Then, around 1p, I found myself feeling a sense of completeness and becoming happy that tonight was the last one.  I have been surrounded by such love and support all week. It has been wonderful.  But I know it is not ending and that we will continue to be surrounded.  It might take the form of people coming over or even asking me how I am doing but they will look at me and give me a hug that is just a bit different than before and I will know that they are "with me," just as Eddie is with me.

Below is the poem I read tonight

Today I speak of death.
Let me talk of Loneliness;
Let me feel my Missing--
I need to know its meaning,
The pain must be felt
In its own significance;
I come from yesterday
And when any part of that dies,
A part of me ends
And I feel diminished;
Let me say goodbye
So I can let go
And learn to hold on
In a new way,
When I have said farewell
To what was,
I will be able to define
What is
And then can contemplate
What can be;
For as I mourn
There grows in me
A new recognition
of my connections
And when I look up at last.
Tomorrow will be waiting--
And I will go on.

Hugs to you all.  I probably will try to post once a month going forward on the 8th of each month (Eddie died Aug 8) to let you know how we are all doing.

I left some lines off my Marc and my brothers "official" eulogies...see updated if so desire

Another Tribute

This one was just sent to me today.  I dont know this person but I was so moved by it.

Friday, August 16, 2013

The 7 wives tribute

I am part of a group of 7 fabulous women whom celebrate our birthdays together.  I asked them to give a tribute to Eddie at the first shiva.  Following were the remarks given by Lara Kaplan who spoke on behalf of all of them.

I have had the privilege of being intertwined in the Michaels lives through Temple, pre-school, elementary school, living across the country club from each other, sharing countless Shabbat and holiday dinners together, play dates both with and without kids, and having them live with us for three weeks when their plumbing exploded in their home.  Eddie always called me his second wife and with that role came the duty of helping him plan surprise parties, picking out presents, or things he thought Lorin would enjoy.  

We have had a birthday group of 8 women for years, all of whom Eddie adored.  If he were here today, he would probably call each of them the same.  Dana would be his 3rd wife, Hayley, the 4th, Jayney, the 5th, Lisa, the 6th, Carly, the 7th, and Nicole, the 8th wife, who would make exquisite pieces of jewelry that unfortunately he would only pick out for wife #1, Lorin.   
Lorin, you truly are one of the best.  They don’t make ‘em like you anymore.  You will get through this because when it all settles down, you will still have all of us every step of the way.  You will get through this because your husband, our dear Eddie wanted it that way.  All of us wives promise to stand by you through it all and watch over you and your beautiful Dylan and Matthew.  

Somebody in the service yesterday said that Eddie was so wise, so loving, and yet so simple, as in angles or agenda, just integrity.  That is true with everything in his life.  He was also a great teacher, even from a young age when he tutored both Jason and Greg for their Havtorah.  What a small Eddie world it is!

Among all of us women, Hayley got the honor of working with Eddie and said that weather for a day or a year he would make you feel so comfortable.  It was a wonderful partnership.  He would make you feel equal and no matter what you did, he made you feel like you made a difference.  And in Hollywood, a place that that at times is difficult to find the good, he carved his own way and was always a real Mench.

Eddie had an unconditional ease.  No matter what you were celebrating and no matter what you were sad about, he always had solid advice.  He was a comfort and a confidante for all of our tough things in life:  family health issues, divorce, parenting, you name it.  He was an easy man for a woman to talk to and get a man’s perspective.  He was kind and attentive in a different way than most friends’ husbands.  His sweetness was sincere and a genuine part of who he was.  The love and inner wisdom that he had was part of what made him such a good guy.  He was great with all of our children.  He was always playful and kind.  He is a sweet, sweet soul.  

I had the true honor of sitting with Eddie in his final days, as he would dictate letters to his children for the big events to come: Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, graduations, career, weddings, the works.  His words, although very quiet, were loving and kind, thoughtful and meaningful, genuine and true . . . just the way Eddie did everything.  I called Lorin, worried that maybe they weren’t long enough or maybe he left something out.  This was a big responsibility, especially since he was very specific not to even show these to Lorin because he didn’t want her changing a word.  But, Lorin knowing Eddie the way she did, said no, that’s just Eddie.  He did not waste words.  He spoke the truth and with precise intent.

There will be a permanent, irreplaceable void at our future gatherings and celebrations.  His warmth, his beautiful smile and his genuine calm nature will be will be sorely missed by us all and will live in our hearts forever.

Traditionally at a Shiva, the visitors do not speak or initiate conversation with the mourners unless the mourners approach them first.  The reason for this is that our forefathers realized that any words would be trivial.  No words can truly console.  It’s more important that we are all present.   And that’s what all of you are doing today.  All passings of a loved one are difficult, but at such a young age, this heartache is simply beyond comprehension.  As you asked Lorin, we are here for you today, and for Dylan and Matthew, and promise to always be here to honor Eddie’s memory.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

More Butterflies

Edith Serpas started with us about 4 years ago as our children's nanny.  She quickly grew in to overall house manager and chef and caretaker for Eddie and me!  I call her my other brain, my eyes and my ears.  She is special, one in a million and Eddie simply adored her as one of us.

Today Edith told me that yesterday she went upstairs to Matthew's bathroom.  She looked down and saw something in the toilet bowl and went to flush it thinking it was a piece of dirt or something.  All of a sudden this black and white butterfly flew around trying to escape the toilet bowl and went and landed behind the toilet, as if it knew she needed to use the toilet and wanted to give her privacy.  Afterwards it came back from behind and sat on the toilet.  Edith said she spoke to it saying "mr Eddie, is that you?"  She said the buttterfly, in its wierd way, literally shook its head.  She spoke to him some more and then went about her work coming downstairs.  She decided to go back up and look a bit later and the butterfly was gone.  I was home all day yesterday except for an hour.  I never saw that butterfly.  I think he only wanted to talk to her.

Edith is from El Salvador and is a most beautiful spiritual person.  She told me that her mom said that when someone dies, they remain around us for 40 days.  I believe that too.

As Edith was telling me all of this, my friend Lara texted me that a butterfly just came up to she and her son.

He is with us.. so many of us...

Sister Sheri's Eulogy

Proverbs 23:25 
Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her who bore you rejoice.

Eddie was my Mother’s Sunshine; 

My brother was born at Cedars on July 27th 1964 … My Mother Leah always boasted that Eddie was a happy, compliant,  adorable baby….. He was her sunshine with his sunny blonde hair..(yes he had hair , thick beautiful hair….)…………..She has fond memories  of his toddler years….like when she found a wad of tin foil in her 1 yr old son’s mouth.  Not being able to fiqure out how it got there, she looked around and found ..ah hah! the ding-dong box…apparently he had snatched one and sucked the chocolate and cream out and all that was left was the wrapper!  He had a very cheerful disposition……however, ….on one ocassion mom heard crying coming from the other part of the house…when she found Eddie,  something was streaming out of his mouth …. he had swallowed a bottle of magic bubbles!… and the more he cried, the more bubbles he made…….

Our Mother Leah is not able to attend today due to her advanced Parkinson’s, but she would have said she loved him more each and every day of his life, and was proud of each of his accomplishments, ecspecially his family…his wonderful wife Lorin and children Dylan and Matthew.

Sadly, Eddie and I lost our father when we were young.  But we were truly blessed when Richard Pozil came into our lives.   On Richard and my Mom’s first date,  Eddie greeted him at the door  and hi!...     “Wanna Wrestle”???.......         Richard spent a lot of quality time with Eddie…teaching him how to throw a ball,  taking him to the park to fly kites, and later teaching him how to drive in his speial, classic, 1969 Mustang…..  Richard has fond memories of Eddie’s youth like him dressing up in a suit and bow tie and carrying around a breifcase, playing the part of a grown-up man,  But what Eddie really wanted to be in his young years was a sports announcer.  He would walk around the house with his play microphone and inpersonate Vin Sculley, giving the play by play of a dodger game. 

After Mom and Richard were married, we moved from our duplex apartment  in the Carthay area to Mississippi Ave in west Los Angeles.  We were joined by Richard’s two sons, Robert and Bennett Pozil, with whom we built a new family… he aslo lovingly chose to adopt Eddie and I , and we lived out our youth and the rest of our lives having this great man as our Father.

Richard is so proud of how Eddie has used his skills in communication in his adult years, excelling as a publisist, commanding the highest respect from the entertainment world and of course, from his dad.

Websters dictionary definition of a hero as: a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities ~ one who shows great courage ;
Eddie was my hero:

I was born 15 months after Eddie, so he got a little sister.  He  ocassionally called me by my first name, but I was more than just ‘Sheri” to him.  As we sat happily eating tv dinners in front of our black and white tv with 8 stations, I was often referred to as ‘Robin’ when watching “Batman” , and “ Gage “, while watching “Emergency , and Bones when watching Star trek.  When he so graciously played house with me,  I was “Ima”, while he was “Abba”.

 I used to sleep surrounded by bean bag animals, and Eddie knew they were all precious to me.  So he would conduct mock fire drills from the upstairs of our two story duplex, he running frantically down the stairs in order to catch a pillow case full of stuffed doggies and bears I tossed from the upper window, saving them from certain peril…….I was constantly amazed when  we were driving in the my mom’s green Falcon how he always knew when we were stopped at a red light the exact moment the signal light would change from red to green~  He was a genious in my eyes!!!   

Eddie did not always express his feelings with me with words, but rather with actions.  As a young adult I was very ill with a virus, just laying on my parents couch for many days.  One day after a nap, I awoke to see the biggest arrangement of flowers known to mankind on the table…from Eddie.

A couple hours before he passed away Thursday night, he was responsive.  I went over to where he could hear me and I said to Eddie, Hi …it’s me..Sheri….He opened his big brown eyes and looked straight at me…His love needed no words…

Eventhough my heart is grieving, and losing Eddie  is a tremendous loss, I can say with all honesty that G-d  is so good to have given me my brother from the moment I was born…My cup runneth over…

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Lorin's Eulogy

I wanted to start with a reading that I found that spoke to me as something eddie might say if he were here.  Bear with me as it’s a bit long but as you learned today, Eddie wanted to be a Rabbi at one point so it’s appropriate that someone read a little scripture on his behalf!

When the moment will come to close my eyes on this beautiful planet, my heart will thank and honor all those who gave me life and the warmth of love, and Him who permitted me to devote my earthly sojourn to peace, justice, and the betterment of the human condition in one of the noblest organizations ever born from the heart of man.  I will go in peace and joy, thankful for having been blessed with the miracle of life. 

I will have loved my life with passion, embraced it with fervor, cherished every single moment of it.  I will have contemplated with wonder the sky and its running clouds, my brethren the humans, my sisters the flowers and the stars.  I will have feasted unceasingly on the treasure of life in all its forms.  I will not have dwelled in mediocre ambitions, vain hatred and useless complaints.

My conclusion would therefore be:

Decide to be happy

Render others happy

Proclaim your joy

Love passionately your miraculous life

Be grateful for every moment of life

Pray and thank God every day







Look with fascinaton at everything

Fill your lungs and heart with liberty

Be yourself fully and immensely

Act like a king unto Death

Feel God in your body, mind, heart and soul

And be convinced of eternal life.



To our friends, family, Eddie's coworkers and recently his caregivers… words simply cannot do justice to how much Dylan, Matthew and I appreciate all the love and support we have received off and on for the past 7 1/2 years and particularly in the last few months and weeks.  People laugh off LA and Hollywood and the Unreality of it all.  But they don't know Eddie's hollywood and they certainly don't know our LA.  Its full of gracious and beautiful and caring and loving people.  Nobody knows that more than Dylan, Matthew and me and Eddie knew as well.  Very well.  Its one of the reasons he knew that the 3 of us would be ok when he was gone. Because we have all of you. 


The notes I have received over the past week have been overwhelming in terms of the beauty of the words and tributes to Eddie.  I knew he was special.  I knew others knew.  But the depth to which people have written is truly special.  For those of you that have written, please know I plan to make a book for the kids.  They will cherish your words forever.


A lot of you have commented on how strong I have been through the past few months.  They say that a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.  What a mighty strong chain all of my friends (and that includes many of Eddie’s friends) helped me make for Eddie.  While I would be absolutely nowhere without all of my special friends who held me up throughout all of this, what I now realize is that I also got so much of my strength from Eddie.  His eyes, smile and soul fueled me and comforted me and gave me the energy to do and go and be.  I now feel lost like a ship without a sail.  



But it wasn't just me that showed up for Eddie in the end. Eddie was a blessed person with so many loving and wonderful people around him throughout the journey and until the very end.  Just look at this room. 


There were those that let him continue to work.  You gave him dignity.  How he loved to do his work.  There are so many that are stuck to their blackberries, iPhones because they stress about missing that next message?.  But for Eddie it was pure joy to get that next email setting him on a path to get the story, strategize a PR plan or get a new piece of business.  Those of you who let him continue to do what he did best until the very last days gave him dignity and pure joy.  What a blessing.


There were those that were his friends.  How he loved all of you.  There were friends borne from when he taught religious school and friends that started out as work associates that became some of his closest friends.  There were those he grew up with and knew for a long long time and then, most recently the most wonderful men that became devoted friends whom we met through our kids.  And lets not forget his lady friends – some of the most special to him to say the least.  Eddie was blessed with his friends and he adored them all.  Many of you took the time to have lunch with him over the last few months.  Every day he would email me asking "who is my lunch with today?"  You gave him fun and entertainment and a feeling of normalcy during his day.  This too was a blessing.


There were those that were his family.  He was so happy to have his brother and sister around him and was so happy with the time they spent most recently.  He always asked me to call his dad when I was unable to take him somewhere once he couldn't drive.  He told me it was nice time with him and he loved it and felt so comfortable with him.  There were my brothers who totally embraced him and welcomed him to the family with open arms as you heard.  There were my parents…. he simply adored them beyond all expectations and certainly had no feeling that they were quote inlaws.  Whenever they were leaving us, Eddie would moan "who else matters more than us?  why does she have to go too?  when are they coming back?  He simply did not understand the language my mom spoke when she would reply "kids, I know you don't understand this but we have a life."  And believe me, that was only after they had given us so much of their time.  Eddie just never had enough of them.  He honestly hoped that they would just move in with us forever.  Family meant everything to Eddie and the time you all gave to Eddie was a pure blessing to him.

Finally, there were his kids.  Dylan and Matthew…. how he loved you two and was so proud of you two.  Dylan, he called you Sweet Pea McGee from the day you were born and Matthew you were his little buddy.  He had a glow in his eye when he looked at both of you from the minute you were born, when you played your sports, when you performed at school and when you were just lying around the house with him.  Nothing was more important to him.  He just simply wanted you to always know his love.  I think you do.  One of you recently said "I only got to have him as my dad for a short time".  Listen carefully and remember always - It is not that you only had him as your dad for a short time… it is that you were so lucky that you got to have him as your dad, even if only for these years.  There are a lot of good men.  There are not as many great men.  Your dad was a great man.  Just look around the room, read the stories online and the emails I have received.  I will forever remind you of all that he was and make sure you know from whom you came.  You deserve that.

I loved Eddie with all my heart and soul.  As I told him on our 10th anniversary, he brought peace to me during the chaos of life and faith in what seemed like hopelessness.  In the face of my fears, he brought me courage and in the face of life's sadness he brought me comfort.   

Eddie loved living.  He didn't care about living large with big things or events.  He loved to live  - pure and simple.  With all of us in this room.


At the end he wasn't the man I married who could travel the world with me as we had hoped or the dad who could run around playing basketball with his kids as he loved to do.  But until the very end he WAS the caring, stoic, brave sweet man I married, always showing me unconditional love and support and compassion, the father that loved his children more than anything in this world and the man who loved his job, his clients and his friends.  May we all remember him for the essential man that he was -always kind and gentle, a wonderful spirit with the smile and twinkling eyes that could light up the world.   I know I will. 

Rabbi Steve Leder's Eulogy

Eulogy for Eddie Michaels

Rabbi Steven Z. Leder

August 11, 2013


One of the most beautiful things I was lucky enough to see during dinner parties at Lorin and Eddie’s was Eddie saying goodnight to Dylan and Matthew.  The kids would gather close to him, he would place his hands on their heads and say the Shema.  That simple, perfect prayer reminding us that all is one.  That there is a single, great, unifying force and power to all of existence from whence all things flow and to which all things return. 

Twice on the day he died, I placed my hand on Eddie’s forehead and said the Shema.  “Shema Yisrael, Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad—Hear O Israel, Adonai our God, Adonai is One.”  The last time, was seconds before Eddie drew his last breath and embraced the perfect peace of returning to the One from whom all life and memory flows.  He was surrounded by Lorin and others he loved and who loved him.  No pain, no worry, no suffering, no anxiety, no conflict, no sorrow—just peace.  Eddie understood and believed and lived the truth that we are all a part of something beautiful and larger than our own bodies.  For him, this disease was, as he so often put it, “part of the journey.”    And now, Eddie’s soul journeys on in ways we will discover over and over again through the gift of memory and gratitude for his kind and generous heart.

Dylan and Matthew, that was and always will be your Daddy…a kind, and generous heart.  Your Daddy loved you and he will always love you and he will always be with you cheering you on, coaching you, proud and always teaching you like he did all of us, about kindness and love.  People are so lucky, because only people have the ability to remember.  You can and you will remember your Daddy always and all of us here who loved him and who love you and your mommy, all of us will help you remember and we promise you, this will not always hurt so much.  It is perhaps the most honest and helpful thing any of us can remember today…this will not always hurt so much.   Somehow the sun rises no matter how dark or long the night.

Dylan, Matthew, your Daddy wanted me to tell you something right now.  In our last talk together on Monday he said he wanted me to tell you that he knows how much you love him and that you will always love him and that later in your life, you can love other people too and that will never mean that you love him less.  Be sad for a while.  But then, make room in your hearts for love again and again and again.  Laugh again.  Be kids again.  Have fun again.  Your Daddy was so proud of you and that pride did not die when his body died.  It is a force that will carry you forward for the rest of your life.  And going forward is what your Daddy wants you to do.

And Lorin, Eddie wanted me to say something to you right now too.  With that sparkle in his eyes and that curl of his upper lip Eddie, in a whisper he instructed, “Steve, tell Lorin she can visit a red state.  But she can’t move to a red state.” 

Eddie, funny, generous of heart and spirit, wise and deep, simple and profound. 

Lorin, from that first moment the door opened at that meeting in 2002 and you thought to yourself “Wow!  There’s something about that Eddie guy,” and Eddie asked a friend at that meeting, “How about that girl Lorin?”  From that moment when you met your beshert, until he drew his last breath you protected Eddie, you nurtured him, and cared for him in a way so powerful and true and so filled with the deepest kind of love. 

You helped Eddie live, really live until he died.  You had insurance companies begging for mercy.  Hell hath no fury like Lorin on a mission.  And Eddie knew and felt and was propelled forward by your strength and your love.  And now, it’s Eddie’s love that will uplift and hold you as you remember.     

Eddie was a great publicist.  He was always my first call if I was being interviewed and his advice was always perfect.  Once, he likely he kept me out of jail when I told him what I was thinking of saying on air about Mel Gibson.  Eddie gave me slightly more diplomatic language.  Eddie always took the high road and he helped a lot of us do the same.  He was a great publicist, but he was a great rabbi too.  Rabbi simply means teacher and Eddie taught so many of us so many important things about being a mensch.  His calm, his ability to see the good.  He was a realistic optimist.  Eddie lived and died without complaint.  Today we are here really to honor Eddie’s life, not his death. 

Over the last seven years, Eddie and I would often sum up his options with a single Hebrew word, “Kadimah.”  We said it to each other a lot.  Kadimah means, forward.  Just go forward.  If anyone ever set an example of going forward no matter what, going forward with hope, and grace, and strength and love, it was Eddie.  Eddie was a little kid and a wise old man all rolled up into one. 

What greater honor can we pay our friend and our teacher than Kadimah—forward?  Forward into lives enriched by everything he taught us.  Forward finding new ways to love Eddie and to love Lorin, Dylan and Matthew too.  Forward with the deep faith Eddie had, that this is part of a beautiful journey toward the One from whence all things come and to which all things return.  Shema Yisrael, Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad. 

Lorin's brothers' (official) eulogy

“Hey Buddy Boy” ……..that greeting with a BIG Eddie Michaels patented smile and hug is the way each of us were always greeted whenever we saw our brother in law. If you were blindfolded and 50 people hugged us, we all would be able to pick out which of them was Eddie’s.   And we all know about that simple sweet, beautiful smile.  

The first extended meeting with all of us was Thanksgiving 2002 when Lorin and Eddie were still dating.  The Texas versus Texas A&M football game the day after Thanksgiving is a football game we Goldmans rarely missed.  Our  Texas Longhorns played our biggest rival, Texas A&M in College Station. We told Eddie that we were getting up at 5am to drive down and drive back to Fort Worth after the game which meant that we wouldn’t be home until close to midnight. When asked if he wanted to join us, without hesitation, Eddie said he was in. So without Lorin joining in the fun, having just met us, he awoke early that morning, threw on the burnt orange shirt and joined us for a spectacular day of brotherhood and football and casseroles and steaks.  It was that day we knew he was “in” with us and we had another brother in the family.  

Another bond we all shared with Eddie was a love for Bruce Springsteen. While we had his albums and gone to a few of his concerts prior to knowing Eddie, Eddie’s passion for the Boss’ music,  lyrics and concerts were contagious.  Through Eddie, we all had a newly found passion and understanding of what Bruce was all about.  Because of Eddie’s influence,  we will never be able to listen to Bruce ever again without thinking of Eddie.  

I also had the great pleasure to work some “gigs” as he and I called them. From Cannes to New York to LA and a few places in between, I watched him in action as one of the best and most respected in his industry. In room after room with top network executives, actors and actresses, I would sit and watch other publicists go “Hollywood” as I called it. But what I witnessed over and over again, and what Eddie’s reputation will forever be in this town, is that calm voice of reason.  He had a way in which few people have of taking it all in and controlling a room, no matter who was in there.   Eddie Michaels did what he thought was in the best interests of his clients.  Always. 

He was a beautiful man with the heart of gold. His goal was to always do all he could to make others happy.  We have a new poster boy for the saying, “only the good die young”.  He loved this city of Los Angeles, he loved his Lakers and the Dodgers, he loved the line of work that he was in, he loved his friends and most of all, he loved his family.

Lorin, your courage, stoicism and strength over the past seven years is beyond words.  Eddie was comforted knowing he had you by his side throughout the entire battle.  We are so proud to call you our big sister.

Many of us hope to live a life on this earth that leaves a legacy.  We will carry the spirit of Eddie Michaels for the rest of our lives.  We will honor his life and cherish his memory.  Dylan and Mathew, you may not understand what the word legacy means today but you will as you get older.  May you both and may we all honor your father and his legacy by living our own lives from this day forward a little more like he lived his.  

Edward, on behalf of all of the Goldman’s. We love you, we miss you and we will never forget you.

Matthew's Eulogy

Dear Daddy

You were the best dad ever to live on the planet.  I loved to play baseball with you.  We played catch together.  When you came to my soccer, basketball and baseball games, I always did my best because I saw you where the people sat and made good shots, kicks and home runs.

i will always remember you at our house and wherever i go.

                                        love you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  


love you your buddy Matthew

Marc's (one of Lorin's brothers) eulogy

It is an honor for me to speak in front of you all today.  Looking
around this sanctuary, everyone can feel the tremendous love
and admiration we all had for Eddie.  He fought like a champion but
ultimately faced an unwinnable battle which is so difficult to take
and understand.  But his fight, courage and gracious attitude will
never be forgotten.  Thank every one of you for being here to say
goodbye and cherish the memory of a fantastic, humble and, most of
all, sweet son, brother, friend, husband and father.

I assume some of you here had a similar experience in that I owe my
relatively newfound obsession with Bruce Springsteen 100% to Eddie.
It will be impossible to listen to another song by The Boss without
thinking of Eddie
and our conversations about the music.   A few years ago, not long
after his diagnosis, Eddie was the guest DJ on the Sirius radio
channel of Springsteen called E Street Radio.  Along with an amazing
tribute to the love of his life by playing Two Hearts, Eddie displayed
a unique message by playing Countin on a Miracle.

" Im Countin on a Miracle,
Baby I'm Countin on a Miracle,
Darlin I'm Countin on a
To Come Through" says the song.

As Eddie was, I am an eternal
optimist and expected that miracle up until the bitter end.  I won't
try to understand why our prayers were not answered, but I will always cherish his memory
through the things in life that Eddie taught me.  The value of Springsteen's lyrics being one.

More important than that, he taught me how to try to understand people
and their feelings a little better.  In particular, I will never
forget a 20-30 minute discussion we had in my car in Fort Worth, TX
where he helped me understand the need to better think through certain
people's personalities.  Work with who they are to understand them,
and through that we can all have a little less drama and more peace in
our lives and relationships.

Eddie displayed who he was by simply smiling.  That smile.  That
simple sweet, beautiful smile.  It showed his grace in life and his
steadfast belief in putting others first.  He smiled to make others
happy since it was one of those special smiles which had the ability
to do just that.    He was a beautiful man with the heart of gold, his
goal only to do all he could to make others
happy.  We have a new poster boy for the saying, only the good die

Lorin, your courage, stoicism and strength over the past seven years
is beyond words.  I am so proud.  And so thankful Eddie had you by his
side throughout the entire battle.  You are truly something else.

Dylan and Matthew, the past nine and seven years you had with your
father were so meaningful.  He loved you so much and will always
look after you, guiding you in the path of life. Cherish his
memories you shared and always remember how fortunate you are to have
had the Father in Eddie Michaels.  I love you.

In closing, I was lucky to have had the ten years i had Eddie Michaels in my life.  I will always hold tight to that fact.  The memories we all have with him should be told and retold in the hopes that more of us can be like Eddie Michaels.  He was one of the few who led by example without the need for a loud voice.  I will always remember
that and carry it with me throughout my life.  Lead by example, not through words.

Eddie, you left us too soon.  Way too soon.  As you will from the
heavens above, we will look after your family and all carry you with
us the rest of our days and nights.  We will forever cherish your
memory.  And we will miss you.   As my Grandfather always told me,
"Tsi Gesunt Eddie, until we meet again".

Brad Ross' Eulogy

Thursday night I didn’t sleep…I was pissed!  This really sucks and we all know it.  I was so bitterly angry…angry at losing my dear friend…angry at all the times I will miss that I was supposed to have with him in the coming years…angry that he left us so young, with so much to live for and so many of us still here missing him.  And as I lay awake I thought…you know, we are all angry…and let’s face it you know we all are…and it’s ok.  It’s ok to be angry but at the same time to think about Eddie and to think about what he would say and how he would deal with it.  I’ll tell you how he would…He would tilt his head to the side a little, squint slightly, and with that amused and comforting smile he would nod his head back and forth a little while he told us that it is ok to be angry…but that we should spin that anger into something positive.  And he would tell us that we should spin that anger into an appreciation of the regular everyday stuff that we tend to take for granted.  You know, don’t sweat the small stuff…cherish every moment.  These things are easy to say but most of us rarely practice diligently. 



When we first got the bad news that his situation was dire many months ago we sat at the beach and had a long talk over a couple cocktails.  In those laughing, crying, heartfelt hours he told me that he would like me to speak for him if and when the time came.  When I asked him what he wanted to say he didn’t give me too much detail, but he went on to discuss his answer to the question of what he wanted to do with what may be the limited time he had left.  He told me that what he was going to miss was the regular everyday things…daily routine, dinner at home with the family, talking to the kids and putting them to bed.  And that is what he wanted to do with whatever time he had.  No bucket list. Not go to Kilimanjaro, not ride the rapids or see the pyramids…the he wanted to focus on the most ordinary  but the most important things.  Because as he so rightly points out, we all know this…but do we actually focus on it or do we take it for granted?  His second message was as clear as the first, but this he told me directly.  He wanted me to let his children and Lorin know that no matter what he would always be with them.  In every special day and event in your life and in every regular day.  Because your dad was totally the family man...




That afternoon  our conversation at the beach was not all tears.  Well plenty of mine but not his.  By the way…I promised him I wouldn’t cry anymore after that day….  But Eddie the eternal optimist, of course was looking at the bright side.  Optimistic that something would work and that some treatment would bring him back to health.  That was Eddie…always the bright side…It didn’t phase him that it could be June 22nd and we are 9 games out of first…he was the guy who would be sure that we would win 36 out of the next 44 games and be 6 1/2 games up by August 11th.  Eddie the total sports freak…Dodgers and Lakers (though we were part of the handfull who could appreciate Angels and Clippers at the same time). Ssports was one of the many bonds between us.  And he shared that love of sports with the kids…Dylan and Matthew you should have heard him talk about how proud he was of your sports exploits.  And what a great day it was for Eddie Matthew and me  when we got to meet Vin Scully and have a ten minute chat with that icon just a few weeks ago.

So many fond memories…the day I met Eddie 23 years ago in the back of the limo with Lou, the parties at Eddie’s where my darling 4 year old daughter became the hostess and greeter, years of our fantasy football with all the guys, dinners at the monkey bar, events with dear friends like Lou and Noah, getting to know and love Lorin, the mitzvah of his introduction of me to my wife Linda, having the opportunity to fall in love with Dylan and Matthew and watch them  as they have grown into fine young people, the ball games, concerts, dinners, swim afternoons at our pool…I could go on…and I guess I have.


Eddie was a brother to me…a consistent voice, a steady hand, an eager companion

Eddie was a brother to me…a confidant, a kind light in my dark moments, a worthy opinion at any time

Eddie was a brother to me…the perfect pal, always available, always sincere

Eddie was a brother to me…highest integrity, honest but kind, thoughtful and diplomatic

Eddie was a brother to me…I will carry him with me always

Noah's Eulogy

Moral. Decent. Kind. Ethical. Honest. And Classy. These are not words often used to describe the average publicist.
But as we all know, Eddie wasn't your average publicist.

It's hard to be here. It's hard to stand here. It's hard to sum up a life in a few paragraphs. It's hard to reduce a relationship to a few anecdotes. It's hard to talk about him and use the past tense.

It's not that the memories won't come. It's that there are too many. 20 years if memories. 20 years of breakfasts and red eyes and cab rides and green rooms. In London. Tokyo. Chicago. New York.
His divorce. My marriage. His marriage.  My divorce. My son. His daughter. My daughter. His son.

When someone is so completely woven into the tapestry if your life you can't distinguish between the threads - any more than you can imagine the fabric holding together without them.

I was 22 years old when I met Eddie, and I knew everything. He was 29 with a head full of brown hair. We hit it off immediately. More than just one Los Angelino recognizing another - There was an ease. A comfort. It seemed we both came from the same "old school" and I liked his style. Where others would hustle, horse trade, badger and bully- Eddie was thoughtful, careful, strategic, and precise. We began working together that very day. And we continued to work together, day in and day out. Year after year.  Until 10:37pm last Thursday night.

To all outward appearances it would seem Eddie had it pretty easy with me. I show up on time. Sober. Prepared. And polite. Usually. I never trashed a hotel room, never totaled a car, never bit a stewardess. (That didn't have it coming.) I didn't need damage control. I don't know about his other clients, but that's not the service he provided for me. What I received was his wise counsel, His creativity, and unfailing support. He was my compass and companion in unknown territories. My partner in crime, working to pull off the ultimate long con.  And it was working.

And I don't know what to do now. "Call Eddie". "Email Eddie". "Ask Eddie". "See what Eddie thinks first".  These have been my rote responses to everything and everyone for so long it's a terrifying prospect to have to face the worlds demands without my buffer, bad cop, filter and friend.

But I will. As must we all. And so as I look out at all of you who loved Eddie and were loved by him, I offer up the only hope and solace I've found this far.

It came the night before last as I was trying to explain this all to my 10 year old son, Owen.  He said, "you're going to miss him a lot, aren't you Dad?"  And I said, "yes. I am going to miss him a lot. But I'm hoping its gonna be like the movie Star Wars. Remember when Obi Wan Kenobe dies and Luke is sad. But in the end when Luke needs him suddenly Obi Wan's voice echoes in his head, telling him what to do and reminding him that he'll always be with him?"  And Owen said, "yeah ". And I said, "I'm hoping its going to be like that".

I hope it's going to be like that. For all of us. Thank you

Shiva Days and the butterfly

We have finished two days of shivas.  What an amazing two days.  Once again, the people that showed up just blew me away with the love and support they showered on the kids and me.  I am so touched.  Several people brought their kids and how it just was so beautiful for my kids who had expressed some concern about telling their friends and how will they tell them and what will they say.  Now they are at ease with that.

One thing that I heard today that I wanted to share.  My friend said she was sitting outside the chapel.  Apparently a beautiful rather large and spectacular butterfly was hovering.  At the point that I began to speak, the butterfly landed on a spot just in front of one of the tv monitors, as if watching it.  Just when I finished speaking, it fluttered away.  I sadly did not see the butterfly but I knew I had Eddie's energy flowing through me that whole day.  Now I truly feel he was not so far away, again.

Thank you for all of you who have helped get us through these first two days of Shiva.

Monday, August 12, 2013


We are so blessed by all the beautiful things written about Eddie.  Here are the links

And about the funeral

The last few days and shiva details

First, the details - service Monday and Tuesday nights will be at our home at 12224 Gorham Ave at 630 tonight.  We kindly ask that everyone leave by 8p so that my children may get to bed at a reasonable hour. We are welcoming people at 430.

I cant begin to tell you how amazing yesterday was for me, my children and my family.  The numbers at the funeral were overwhelming.  We were so honored to see all the special people that showed up for Eddie.  It was so comforting and so unsurprising to us because Eddie was so loved.  When he got sick back in February he told our Rabbi when asked whether he was thinking about dieing "i am thinking about the funeral.  I just wish I could be there because it is going to be a great funeral".  It certainly was as great a day as one could hope for in such a circumstance.  I felt his calm and strength flowing through my veins like never before.

Along those lines, the night before I sat in the quiet of my bedroom writing the eulogy.  Our house at night is always very very quiet.  I then began reading the eulogy aloud and heard a noise.  I stopped and listened.  Quiet.  I started again and heard a noise.  I stopped.  I then heard the strangest bird chirp, unlike one I had ever heard before even in the daytime, let alone the night.  Our house is always so so so quiet at night.  I said "hello?" and it gave me one quick chirp.  I said "eddie?" and it gave another quick one chirp.  I said "i love you sweetie.  I am ok but I miss you.  Are you ok?" and it gave one more quick chirp.  I continued to read and it got quiet and that was it.  I did not hear it the rest of the night or last night.  I know in my heart it was Eddie and I am so happy to know he is ok.

I know the next few days will be exhausting but I want to do this right and feel the grief as much as I can.  I know in the coming year Dylan, Matthew and I will need you all more than ever and the best is knowing that you will all be there.

Please pass along for anyone who has a story or a comment about Eddie, to please email me at  I will be making a book and it will mean so much to my kids.

Thank you for everything.  We are blessed, even in the face of darkness.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Funeral and donation details

The funeral will be Sunday at 2p at Mt Sinai Memorial Park
5950 Forest Lawn Dr
La, CA  90068

Reception/light dinner following at Wilshire Boulevard Temple IRMAS CAMPUS
11661 W Olympic Blvd
LA, CA  90064

In lieu of flowers the family requests that donations be sent to one of the following

1)  Wilshire Boulevard Temple Building Lives
3663 Wilshire Blvd
La, CA  90010-2798

2)  Johnnie Cochran Brain Institute
127 S San Vicente Blvd
LA,  CA  90048

Thursday, August 8, 2013

At Peace

Tonight after 7 years of various treatments, setbacks, hopes, dreams, successes, trials, perseverance, fight, commitment and love for the kids and me, Eddie finally laid down his sword and stopped the fight with the kids and my blessing.  He was so blessed to have a room full of special people in the waiting room outside ICU and surrounded by some of the finest humans I have ever imagined knowing.  So many came to say their goodbyes and share their love.  Our children were awe inspiring and beautiful and heartfelt in saying good bye to their dad.  As I told Dylan, she is not unfortunate that she only had "daddy" for 9 years.  She is the most fortunate that she got to have a daddy like Eddie for 9 years.  He was the best and will be remembered always by all of us.

I pray that he is at peace and watches out for us always.

Please give us our space tomorrow and check back here for the time and place of the funeral services.

We love you all.

Lorin, Dylan and Matthew (and Eddie because he is still with us always)